JP's Corner of The Blogosphere

Season's Greetings from JP

The title of this post might be seen as a little misleading (if I'm allowed to state that in the current political climate), because the beard is no more. For the time being, at least. It actually went in the middle of the week, before I had viewed the recent survey results. I'm not sure why, really. It had begun to annoy me slightly, but I think if I am honest, the main reason was my vanity. Making the most of the good weather had helped me to start to tan well, and I perhaps didn't want to risk starting work with a comparatively white chin. Keep that to yourself though. Anyway, as far as the survey is concerned, I'm pleased to say that this time around the results agreed with my predictions. Even if those predictions meant not being a hit with the ladies. That said, if you were the girl who went 'mmm', and you're unmarried and beautiful, you should drop me a line. "I'd regrow my beard for you anytime" surely isn't the worst chat-up...

It's been a while since I had a good rant, but having returned from my holiday the opportunity has arisen. Not a moment too soon, some might say. Whilst I was away, my computer was on a timer, set to come one and off on occasion and get on with a few things for me. Videoing the Grand Prix, for example. Unfortunately, despite explicitly ensuring that the BBC iPlayer software was not set to come on automatically , it appears that a component - the 'Delivery Manager Service' - ignored that particular instruction. This meant that huge volumes of data were transferred to and from the internet for the benefit of other BBC "customers" at my expense* and an email was received from our ISP explaining that we were near our usage limit. I made arrangements for the computer to be disconnected from the 'net, but alas it wasn't soon enough to stop us exceeding the monthly upload/download limit, and charges have been incurred. Such deviousness and unsolicited use of...

I've just spent the weekend camping in West Wales, and it was awesome. The weather was gorgeous and I really enjoyed being on the beach*, playing cricket, messing about in inflatable boats, and even swimming. Nice. I was also introduced to the world of (amateur) golf, which I enjoyed very much and embarked a bit of walking. We also spent an evening on a beach, with a fire, some marshmallows and some bananas stuffed with chocolate and wrapped in foil. A Good Combination. I didn't burn my hand this time, though I did somehow slice my finger painlessly, drawing copious amounts of blood. It was great to catch up with good friends in the process, and I think that the title of this post really says it all. > *in swimming shorts, not speedos. Sorry for any disappointment this may cause.

Making the most of being a man of leisure for just a short while longer, I have decided to "experiment" again with my facial hair. We're not talking full beard or dodgy 'tache, but something cultivated*; along the lines of what you should see in my photograph. For want of something more meaningful and mature, I have decided to use this latest development as the basis for my new poll (see right), even though I suspect I know what the outcome will be, and will probably take no notice if you're a bloke**. Vote now. >> *In theory, at least. **Don't feel as though I'm discriminating purely on gender here. If I knew you were old, married or ugly your opinion probably wouldn't count for much either.

As I promised just a moment ago, it's time to return to the theory I was testing . That theory was, quite simply, that "everyone has an Uncle John". However, even in the spirit with which it was meant ("most people have an Uncle John"), my poll has proven me wrong. Even if you present the figures in a big way ("47.36% of people have an Uncle John"), they just don't back up my hypothesis. If I am honest, there was no basis at all for my hypothesis save for the fact that I know a lot of people who have an Uncle John*. I even have an Uncle called John myself. Basis or no basis, however, I still have to admit that I was wrong. Better luck next time, as they say. >> *one of my friends must, I'm sure, have several Uncles called John

Despite John's concerns, I am pleased to announce that I am not dead. Though you could be forgiven for thinking so, because I haven't blogged in over a month - a new record for me - and I just left things hanging in mid-air. Although there's nothing like a good cliff-hanger, I suspect that those of you who still bother to tune in have given up wondering long ago what theory I was putting to the test, and whether my survey proved or disproved it. I'll come back to that in a moment. I have a lot of reasonably plausible excuses for my absence from the Blogosphere - finishing a dissertation is a good one, as is moving house. I also quite like 'being in a period of transition', and I am yet to get back in to some sort of routine. It is also fair to say that I have been spending my time on other things recently. Including fast cars and aeroplanes*. Well, you would, wouldn't you... Anyway, one can make excuses until the cows come home. A bad workman blames...

After some absence caused largely by Blogspot technical difficulties and the fact that I have had better things to do (like my on-going dissertation) I am pleased to announce the presence of another poll in the sidebar. Yay. This one is simple, doing exactly what it says on the tin*. I should probably also clarify that I am asking whether or not you have an uncle who is called John and that 'Uncle John' is not slang for part of the anatomy (a la 'John Thomas') or a practical commodity (a la 'Little John'). As if I'd ever be so immature anyway. So, what are you waiting for? Vote Now.** *Like Ronseal. Except here it's less of a tin and more of a post title. **Open to readers across the blogosphere.

transitvan Originally uploaded by JP1984 . Developing a tradition of posting blurry photos which may resemble something if you squint hard enough, this advert was drawn to my attention and I thought that it was worth sharing. I have no need of a transit van at the moment, but I was nonetheless intrigued by the fact that one of the services they purport to offer is 'Bank Jobs'. I wonder how that fits in with the assertion that they are 'friendly and flexible'? If you're planning to rob a bank and cannot decipher the cunningly smudged contact details, please get in touch and I will see what I can do. For a small commission I'd be delighted to help, and just think - it might enable me to afford a proper camera or a new phone...

I know from one of my polls that some of you are already minded to vote for Boris in his campaign to be London Mayor, and will so cast that vote if you are eligible. I hope that the rest of you have since seen sense, and will join me in supporting Boris. If you were in the ignorant/clueless category, click here . The reasons to vote Ken out are mounting*, but if you're still dithering about doing the right thing, you should check out Boris' speech . It's rather good. So, the message is simple. Back Boris , and if you're lucky enough to be able to vote, don't waste the opportunity. To quote from the BBC , Anyone registered to vote in London, irrespective of which party they support, can vote in the ballot which closes on 26 September. The result is due to be announced the next morning. *EDIT: As Alasdair notes, this was a slightly spurious link, because I have no proof that Ken is to blame for the current Tube strike, and the post was more a rant about Bob Crow,...

Need I say more? . Is this Ken's fault? I wouldn't be surprised if it was, but we all know that I wouldn't vote for him anyway so I'll not rant about him this time. Instead, yet again, it's Bob Crow who is the target of my wrath*. Words almost fail me, and most of those which don't are unprintable. I note from Wikipedia that this joker was a member of the British Communist Party, and he embodies perfectly the assertions made about Communism by George Orwell in Animal Farm. Although you could argue that because the disruption is so widespread that all Londoners are - in fact - being treated equally, what we actually have is someone who will abuse his position and do all he can to get what he wants, regardless of the effects on anyone else. Bob and his cronies are enjoying a few days holiday at the expense of disruption and inconvenience for the vast majority, and it's far from 'fair' or 'ideal'. The sad thing is, however, is that althoug...

The observant amongst you may have noticed that whilst I was waiting for some simulation results yesterday I updated my Black- and Whitelist. HSBC now feature on the blacklist, for misleading me about my overdraft limit, wrongly applying charges to my account, sending me several conflicting pieces of information and advice, and - finally - scrapping the Interest Free Graduate Account Overdraft I was promised when I signed up to their student account. Oh, and their Customer Services people are useless. My first complaint yielded some patronising and irrelevant advice on how to pay in a cheque, and my follow up to this was not even acknowledged. Judging by conversations I have had with others, and this article , I am by no means alone. Despite the apparent 'U-turn' alluded to by the BBC I still lack any faith in HSBC at all and look forward to taking my custom elsewhere when I have finished my course. So, if you're looking for a student bank account, and want JP's top...

It might be said that I talk a lot about trains. Some might even say that I talk too much about trains, though it can't really be helped. Besides, if one reads closely, it can be seen that I rarely talk about the train itself. More often than not the train is my preferred way of getting from A to B, and seldom do I ever find a better combination of something to say and time in which to say it than when I am sat back and watching the world go by. Of course, I have been known to have a few train-related rants, and usually, as in this post , the incompetent Department for Transport (DfT) is the deserving focus of my anger. I've never really subjected you to my rants when the train is late and overcrowded, or when I am squashed in a seat not designed for human beings, but this is probably because I vent my anger at the Train Company concerned. If my complaint is justified they might furnish me with free travel vouchers, which is much more satisfying (if not so good for my ego) ...

Whilst waiting for my train home I like nothing better than to cast my beady eye through the Metro*. Today I was drawn towards the advert for Virgin Media, in which they are announcing that they were Number One in a Customer Satisfaction Survey. I don't blame them for shouting about such a surprising fact, though and I dread to think what experiences people have had elsewhere. It's not exactly stating the obvious. What is stating the obvious, however, is the rather amusing small print. After learning who conducted the survey and how many respondents there were**, the reader who bothers to continue is rewarded with the following disclaimer. "Your experiences may vary". What would be the point in surveying people if we all thought the same? *Trains and a 'quality' rag. A winning combination for those who are easily pleased. **2706. If you were wondering. Defined by user

It seems that as I enjoyed my train ride along the top of the Dawlish Sea Wall and up the Teign Estuary I negelected to notice that part of my last post got lost in the ether. I think I must have been sidetracked by the raft-race* and the shipwreck I saw, not to mention the beautiful scenery. So, for those of you, like John who have felt The Cliff Hanger Effect, and been checking this page at every opportunity**, I am delighted to inform you that the next installment is finally here. Well, ish. Friday's Metro is a bit 'last week' now, and I've lost the flow I was in at the time. Basically I was amused by the fact that the picture had blatantly been an attempt to cash in on the 'celebrity culture' but rather than getting a famous young musician, 'musician', actor or upcoming footballer they'd gone for the upcoming footballer's girlfriend. Which is no more impressive than saying that "I live next door to the person who walks the dog with...

I've just changed trains in Exeter and at the station I met someone I know and haven't seen for ages. I love it when I meet people in this manner, and it's a small world (as I often say). Is it me though, or does it happen to me more than most? Other highlights of my journey so far include seeing some Americans being totally clueless as to how to open the door and get off the train I'm now on, and finding a copy of the Metro. I know, it's a rag, but I love it. I was particularly amused by the front page picture showing someone collecting their A'level results. The aim has obviously

I have just been reading the BBC News article about the protests at Heathrow, and the associated Have Your Say page. Which, for once, is pleasantly free from unnecessary capital letters (IDIOTS) and poor spelling. It might not surprise you to know that I don't have much time for these self-righteouss tent dwellers, and I am disappointed that in the name of a "peaceful protest" they are seemingly being allowed to dwell illegally on Imperial College land (wasting police time, money and resources in the process). If you ask me, they should be thrown out, now. End of. Doubtless someone will cry "deplorable" and "irresponsible" but I was quite amused by the comment by the guy who wondered if he could get away with doing 33mph in a 30 Zone by claiming to be "protesting peacefully". There is some logic there. I find these people extremely selfish, and they will doubtless inconvenience lots of holiday makers despite assurances that they won...

I had a wonderful day with friends in London yesterday, the highlight being my visit to The Palace . It is well worth a visit, and I really enjoyed it. There is a lot to see, and to take in; and you can't fail to be impressed with a lot of the decor. I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that the chandeliers in the ballroom are a massive 11ft tall, and the general attention to detail is staggering. I really liked the picture galleries and the way in which etched glass roofs allow for a good amount of natural light and mirrors are used to build up a feeling of space. I have to say that I also found it fairly surreal, and can't quite believe that this time yesterday I was stood by the table at which HM the Queen hosts her banquets. After the visit, and a stroll through the gardens (with lush ice cream from the Royal suppliers) we enjoyed the sunshine in Green Park, followed by a few drinks and a meal in Chinatown. At a Chinese restaurant, surprisingly. The foo...

...It's a small world after all, It's a small world after all, It's a small, small world. Some of you may have read Jordan Gray's recent comments on this post , this post and this one . As Jordan pointed out, there is a hilarious sequence of co-incidences involved here: "* I write a random comment on The Times website; * you respond to my comment in particular on your blog; * we meet each other and become friends on Iona; * I find the response on your blog by complete accident." Anyway, having enjoyed getting to know Jordan on Iona it is great to hear his point of view, and he's got some good things to say. I should probably concoct some sort of response to the various debates at some point, but for now do go and take the time to read his comments.

The poster I encountered in Bristol and blogged about in my last post for your viewing pleasure has got me thinking. Not the bit about throwing some questionably exotic shapes - though I was pleased to see the phrase used - but the bit referring to Hell. Hopefully, given the title of this post, that won't surprise you. I wouldn't know whether the Christian Hell is the worst type of Hell - and neither would you - though in the strictest sense of the definition I think that it is the only Hell, so I guess that it could qualify. As a Christian, I would define Hell as a place of eternal separation from God, and I would suggest that this is A Bad Thing. Especially if the imagery used in the Bible is anything to go by. I suspect, however, that the promotor of the 4th Anniversary of the Great Row Boat Rave was thinking along other lines. Christians are renowned for preaching hellfire and damnation more than most, and often perceived as making people feel guilty more than most. S...