Monday, September 04, 2006

The Coral (Track 4)

Just so that there is no confusion, I should like to state two things,

1) I am not a fan of The Mirror
2) Eddie Izzard would not be my first choice of person to give me relationship advice, should I want it.

However, when I was on a train recently (all the best stories start that way) I picked up a Mirror supplement and read this article. I thought that it was rather interesting; perhaps because I found to my surprise that I identified well with a lot of what he said.

His point about finding it easier to get over someone if one decides to hate them is an interesting one. I guess most people (myself included) can empathise well with that, but at the same time it doesn't seem right. It certainly doesn't sit well with the Christian ethos of forgiveness, which thinking about it logically is a far better option, however hard it can seem.

The second point of his which I liked doesn't really need any expansion.

"All the girls at school liked the boys who didn't pay them any attention. They'd be like, 'Wow, he's nice', and I'd think, 'What the f*** is that?'"

I was chatting to someone about this the other day, and it seems that it's a fact of life that attempting to be a nice guy isn't necessarily a good thing. And some people think that women make sense.

Not that I am bitter or anything...

Moving on, I would like to say hello to John and the others who've left comments via the means of Facebook. I'll respond in due course, but I'll probably do so in the standard blogger way to make it accessible for all.

2 comments:

Mugford said...

Being the famed 'Auntie Rachel', this post had me thinking. Is it all about hating to get over someone? I thought about my ex-bastards and ex-boyfriends alike, and realised that I didn't actually 'hate' any of them. Getting over them is more about forgetting. Obviously it's harder to put good things out of one's mind as these things make us happy, but therefore bad thoughts make us unhappy so we think about them less. In this way 'hating' someone makes us want to put that person out of mind as in that way if one only associates bad feelings with them then thoughts about them will be less. Hence in that way forgetting can occur. After a while one forgets enough that one even forgets to feel the 'hate'. Now instead of using 'hating', one can also just focus on the bad points of a person or that relationship. This can be just as effective without the hate. Then all is forgotten. Well not all, but enough to not look back as much and look to the future.

As for he nice guy thing - no one likes a drip but bastards get boring. It's all about somewhere in the middle

dave said...

Trust me to pick up on the religious aspect but I thought the idea of Christian forgiveness was just to forgive, there is no exact timeframe in which you must do it to get into heaven.

Speaking from experience, the people that I've hated, I'd probably say I've now forgiven, more likely just forotten and forgiven because its so far into the past I no longer care, but still forgiven as I hold no grudges. How very Christian of me.